Alex Chediak on Dating non-Christians


In my leisure time, I am currently reading “With One Voice: singleness, dating and marriage to the glory of God” by Alex Chediak. In the last section of this short book, one of the FAQs concerns the issue of Christians dating non-Christians that I have been discussing earlier. (Chediak is currently an Associate Professor of Engineering at California Baptist University, and was an apprentice at The Bethlehem Institute under Pastor John Piper from 2005-2007)The following is a direct quote of Chediak’s answer in full, from pages 141-142:What about dating/marrying non-Christians? After all, don’t some people have happy family environments even though one of their parents may not have been a Christian? And likewise, don’t some have negative experiences in Christian relationships?

The Bible is clear that marrying non-Christians is always sinful. Second Corinthians 6:14 gives the clearest support of this:”Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”The implied answered to both these questions is “none”. In other words, Christians (who have been made righteous because of Christ) cannot have any true fellowship (i.e. partnership) with non-Christians (who do not submit themselves to God’s law, and are therefore described by the term “lawlessness”). Elsewhere, Paul speaks of non-Christians (those who live according to the flesh, and who thus set their minds on the things of the flesh) as “hostile to God” and unable to submit to God’s law (Romans 8:5-8). To marry a non-Christian is to marry a potential spiritual enemy — and that for life!If you would not marry a non-Christian, there can be no reason to date one. You are less likely to win them to Christ, as your example of disobedience will speak louder than any gospel words you may share. If they come to embrace Christ it will be by the mercy of God in spite of your disobedience.Yes, because of God’s graciousness, many people have happy family environments even though one (or both) of their parents may not have been a Christian. In many of these cases, one parent becomes a believer after marriage, and then must live the remainder of life unable to share their best Friend with their spouse. Likewise, the fact that some Christian relationships go south does not make the romantic pursuit of a non-Christian appropriate.

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